For a long time I judged the actions of others harshly, with the attitude of “couldn’t be me”. I quickly learned that judging, and not understanding a situation because I hadn’t been through it, brought it right to my door steps. So a few years ago, and some situations on top of that, I was hurt. The hurt where others joined in. The hurt that a bottle of alcohol started to make numb. The hurt where I started turning against myself. After I removed myself physically, the pain still lingered, so I had to make it my priority to heal! It was a hard road, especially having to communicate with the person that caused the pain, we’re connected for the next 18 years. So I wrote it out, sung it out, prayed it out, laughed it out, cursed it out, but I GOT IT OUT! Here are my top 9 ways to know that you’re not done healing.
- You’re still using the same negative numbing agent as when you were going through the situation. Negative actions produce negative results. The things that numb you keep you from thinking and feeling.
- You still think about why it happened. How could someone hurt you like that? Why you put up with it for so long? Asking yourself the same questions will not help you move forward.
- You still feel the fire or sadness inside when you think about it. I would curse his tail out while riding in the car alone, and I could feel the anger inside of me.
- YOU STILL THINK ABOUT IT!! When your alone in your thoughts, is that where your mind takes you? There will always be something to bring that thought back in your head when your still in pain. A song, food, color, it won’t take much anything is a trigger.
- You don’t fully understand the part you played in it or if it was something that had nothing to do with you at all.
- You can’t communicate with the person without bringing up the past hurt. SN: if it’s still occurring healing isn’t a option.
- Your still searching for something from them. For them to change their mind, or admit they were wrong or even just a genuine apology. Your healing has nothing to do with them.
- Your anxiously waiting for Karma to come around. You rushing her won’t make it come any faster and it may not be a satisfying as you think.
- You can’t see the benefits of the situation happening. Was there pain, yes! But the biggest growth comes from pain.
Bottom line you can’t be your best self and the best Mother for your kids if your not healed. If you would like for me to share the roadmap to healing reply below!
As always wishing you peace & patience on your parenting journey.